W: A to Z
by Jensam
Summary: I is for Ice - Ryu can maintain his composure, he can keep himself together and face each day as it comes.  But somehow, a glass of water can stop him in his tracks.
1. A is for Acceptance

**AN:** So I decided, after seeing the title of the new Kamen Rider Double movie, that I'd try my hand at one of these alphabet memes. This will be a series of relatively unrelated drabbles/oneshots, themed after words that correspond to each letter of the alphabet. I suspect that it will focus mainly on Shotaro and Phillip, but there are alot of letters in the alphabet, so I might branch out to other characters.

This is purely for my own enjoyment, it's mainly to help with my writer's block, and this happens to be my second fic ever. Also, spoilers will probably work their way into some of these blurbs, and I will label them to the best of my ability. If anything escapes my notice, please feel free to tell me about anything I might have missed.

**Disclaimer:** Kamen Rider Double doesn't belong to me. I don't even own the DVDs, they're too expensive.

**Spoilers:** Superficial spoilers all around, and if you haven't seen episode 47 yet...I would suggest watching that first.

**_ Acceptance_**

He accepted it.

Everything in him rebelled against it initially, like a wave of nausea. He'd wake up in the morning expecting to see his teacher sitting at that desk, waiting for him with the aloof yet somehow still slightly warm expression. Always ready to teach him, to save people, to save Fuuto.

Then he'd blink and he'd see that the chair was still empty, the chair was his now, as was the desk. The agency is his, the cases are his, and the people are his to save.

He still refuses to wear that hat; he buys himself some others, cheap replacements in comparison. He can't wear his teacher's hat, not yet. He wonders if the day will ever come when he can, and whether or not he'll be able to tell when it does. It doesn't matter either way; he has to better himself in every way before then. He'll continue to do his best to follow his teacher's example, and he's accepted that.

He accepted it, and became part of Kamen Rider Double alongside a mysterious, strange, and odd boy, the Chosen One that his teacher had been hired to save.

Every person who came walking through that door, he would listen to, would work to help with every fiber of his being. He knows that there is no experienced, strong and always reliable teacher there to help him anymore, and that's all right, because he has a partner now. He can do this, and after a while, he starts to think that accepting it wasn't that hard at all.

It was his fault that his teacher died, and he will work to repent for that sin for the rest of his life as the protector of Fuuto, and living in the agency wasn't so hard when he had another person to grow accustomed to.

He grew accustomed to, even if he didn't understand his new partner's odd personality and behavior. He adapted to the Gaia Memories and fighting in the armor of Double. He got used to having another person in his mind, whispering advice and explanations of how the Dopant's Memory worked, what they would need to do to win. After a while, it became a solid, seamless part of his life, and he didn't mind at all.

Everything disturbed and ruffled by the appearance of Narumi Akiko, but he accepted her too, at first begrudgingly because she was unpredictable, new, and she hit him with that green slipper of hers all the time, but she was his teacher's daughter and she was his new 'landlady' as it would seem.

After a few weeks he was fine with her.

The mysteries revolving around the Museum, the Dopants, and the appearance of Terui Ryu, Accel, the revelations about Wakana, the Sonozaki family, Shroud, Phillip, _Raito_, he understood it all, and it was all right with him, because he'd accept it. He accepted that he was weak, and he grew stronger.

Akiko is family now, and Terui is nearly as close. It doesn't matter as much as it should, that Phillip is Sonozaki Raito, but no matter what, he's Shotaro's partner, and that will never change, because Shotaro has done more than accept that, he's embraced it and made it a part of him. He's let everything happen, even the changes that he hadn't wanted, and now he has a family.

So when Phillip tells him that he's going to disappear, Shotaro looks at his partner's hand as it flickers, shining briefly, showing the construction of ones and zeroes in glowing green light before it settles back into flesh and skin. It stays like that for a moment, and then his hand is transparent, green, _nothing but data._

He looks at his partner's hand, and then his partner's resigned expression, and he refuses to allow it. He won't let it happen, never, no matter that Phillip has accepted it. He doesn't care. He'll never give up and resign himself.

Because this is something Shotaro can never accept.


	2. B is for Beginnings

**AN:** I must say, this probably would have made a better first chapter than the last one, but I must obey the rules of the alphabet, unfortunately.

**Disclaimer:** Kamen Rider Double doesn't belong to me. I don't even own the DVDs, they're too expensive.

**Spoilers:** Begins Night, thoroughly spoilerific.

**_Beginnings_**

Shotaro opens his eyes and sees the ceiling of his teacher's detective agency, stripes of sunlight warming his face. His first reaction is a sigh of relief that his nightmare was over. His second reaction was amused embarrassment, he shouldn't be having nightmares at this point in his life; detectives shouldn't let their fears best them, even in their dreams.

Now all he had to do was get up and get ready for another day full of reprimands and harsh lessons that he wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

Then he realizes that he's lying on the floor and there's a torn white fedora resting on his stomach.

He sits up so quickly he nearly gives himself whiplash. He clutches the hat, staring at it, seeing the shredded slit in the brim, feeling everything in the world drop a mile. The second thing he realizes is that that weird belt is still fastened around his waist.

The third thing is that that boy clad in white is sitting in front of him, also still wearing the belt, staring. Somehow, from his near statue like stillness, Shotaro thinks that he just might have been sitting like that all night.

Memories of gunfire, blood, fire, and his own screams flood back into his mind, unwelcome, unwanted, and sudden. The boy trapped inside a crystalline structure, and then standing motionless and emotionless beside his teacher's still form as Shotaro watches the closest person he's ever had to a father's body go slack.

"What are _you _doing here?" Shotaro finds himself snarling, the pain stinging and burning his heartstrings.

The boy cocks his head to one side, wide eyes bearing into him, as if analyzing his very thoughts. He seems completely unperturbed by Shotaro's furious tone of voice or expression.

It's only his head that moves; nothing else. It gives him the appearance of an automated doll, and it gives Shotaro a chill.

"I brought you here. You were unconscious and thus incapacitated. It was the most logical location to retreat to given the current situation," the boy says. "The Museum will be sending out search teams in order to attempt to recover me. It is imperative that I keep a low profile."

Shotaro gets to his feet, his hands clenching painfully tight into fists. As if taking this as a cue, the boy also stands, still staring at him, unblinking.

"How'd you know where the detective agency was?" Shotaro demands. The boy pauses, not looking confused exactly, but looking as if the question has no point and thus wasn't expected.

"I looked it up in The Library," he says simply, and then he turns away, looking around the room, curious perhaps but his movements are too deliberate, too robotic.

His words explain nearly less than nothing to Shotaro, but he doesn't care enough. All he wants is to throw the boy out, away, far away, because damned if he doesn't blame the boy just as much as he blames himself for everything that's happened last night, and he can't deal with both.

An echo stops him in his tracks.

"_Take care of the boy."_

An echo tainted by rattling dying breath and pain, from the only man he has ever respected, trusted, believed in, and looked up to so much, in the entire world. It's an echo that he can't forget, he won't, and so he can't ignore it just so he can be a selfish student, so that he can sit alone and wallow in misery and self pity and lick his wounds like a child.

Narumi Sokichi is dead, but the detective agency is still here, and so is the hat.

There has to be someone to take care of Fuuto.

"Hey," Shotaro calls, to the boy. "What's your name?"

The boy looks up at him, gaze sharpening, focusing, less far off, really looking at him. Now Shotaro can see a flicker of something else in those glassy doll like eyes.

"My name is Phillip now," he says.

It's a good name; it reminds Shotaro of his teacher's favorite detective book series. Shotaro nods, and then he steps forwards.

"My name is Hidari Shotaro," he says. "I'm going to save this city from those Gaia Memories you created."

The boy, Phillip remains with his gaze fixed on Shotaro, silent.

"I need this," Shotaro says, glancing down and touching a hand to the belt, "to do it." He looks back up at Phillip. "I need your help." This time Phillip actually does look surprised.

"You would ask for the help of a 'devil'?" he asks, bemused. Shotaro shakes his head.

"I'm not asking, I'm telling you," he says. "Fuuto needs," he trails off, motioning to the two belts. "This. The only question is, will you choose to help me or not?"

For some reason, the word 'choose' seems to catch Phillip's attention, because his eyes widen ever so slightly, the change so minor Shotaro wonders if he might have imagined it. Then Phillip inclines his head.

"I will," he says. He doesn't offer any other explanation, but Shotaro didn't expect one anyway. He tries not to look uncomfortable, because now that the hardest part is over, he's not quite sure what to do with himself. After a moment's silence, he extends his hand out to the other boy.

"Then," he says. "It's good to meet you, partner." The word feels a little awkward on his tongue, but he uses it anyway, and he'll keep using it, because that's what Phillip is now. Phillip just looks at his hand for a second, and then he takes it, his fingers slender and spidery, in stark contrast to Shotaro's broader one, shaking it.

"It's good to meet you too," Phillip says carefully, and the flicker in his eyes steadies into something more solid, something clearer. Shotaro can see it now.

It's resolve.

He smiles, partially to himself.

Maybe it won't be so hard; they have something in common.


	3. C is for Coward

**AN:** This takes place sometime before the series, but some time after Begins Night.

**Disclaimer:** Kamen Rider Double doesn't belong to me. I don't even own the DVDs, they're too expensive.

**Spoilers: **None, as a matter of fact.

**_Coward_**

He'll never forget the first time they met, the first time Phillip gave him the belt, the first time Shotaro felt Phillip's mind slide into the armor of Double alongside him, his own mind, inside it.

There was no pain, but it was the most peculiar, eerie, and unbearable thing he had ever experienced, like he was floating out of his own body, but not quite, more like his own mind had displaced itself, not anchored to anything anymore because it had to make room for another to ride along with him as Double.

There is still a barrier between the two of them, a wall that feels as thin as tissue paper. Shotaro senses that wall is the only thing keeping Phillip's ocean of thoughts from flooding Shotaro's head and drowning him. There is a line, fragile but vital between the two halves of Double, and it terrifies him.

Phillip doesn't understand, he can't, because Phillip is always in control of himself. He seemingly loses himself to the Library on a daily basis, but he always comes back, unperturbed and whole. Shotaro supposes that it might be because Phillip is already missing things, parts of himself.

Sometimes he even wonders if The Library is the reason why Phillip doesn't seem to have all of the emotions that everyone should have, or the memories of things that everyone should know. In spite of it, Phillip dives into that ocean every day, and then he returns to let it flow through his mind, dry erase marker, and lips. Shotaro doesn't have that same confidence in himself.

Shotaro isn't whatever Phillip is, he's just a man.

So when yet another Dopant appears, and Phillip urges him to transform over the Stag phone, Shotaro pulls out the belt, and the Joker Gaia Memory, and then he falters, for just a moment.

It's a subtle twitch of the fingers, a locking of the wrist, and then the Dopant escapes, leaving Shotaro speechless and Phillip's voice over the phone asking him what happened, not angry, never angry, but puzzled, questioning.

Shotaro searches for the Dopant doggedly, for hours, Phillip murmuring suggestions and advice as he conducts more research back at the detective agency, but they don't have enough keywords and the day burns away into night. Exhausted and furious with himself, Shotaro returns. Phillip is waiting for him, standing before the door.

His partner doesn't say anything at first, and there is no accusation in his expression. He simply closes his blank book, and then he says.

"Welcome back Shotaro."

Then he returns to his back room.

Shotaro stands alone in front of the desk that isn't really his. There's no one to see him as he is now, and yet he feels like hiding somewhere, hiding from everything.

Then he looks at the white, torn fedora hat hanging on the door.


	4. D is for Detective

**AN: **I took artistic…or rather, authoristic liberties with this one. I tend to overanalyze, and thus I notice all of the little holes that aren't mentioned in the series. This little somewhat ooc rendition of Akiko spawned from the question of, 'Where's her mom?' This of course opened up a huge can of worms in my brain, (I know, disgusting right?), and thus forced me to come up with a comprehensive explanation, because the moment I realized that Akiko had, and probably still has, a mother, I wondered what would she be like, etc. I mean really, how would any woman feel if the father of her daughter was more interested in protecting a city than being with her?

and...there really aren't any words. My favorites list is fraught with fanfics that are never updated, even when the authors make promises. I've always thought 'well, I understand, but it's still depressing', and now I've joined their ranks. I have no idea why life has decided to do this to me, but let's just say...I'm seeing a therapist now.

Without further ado, here is the ridiculously overdue update! (it's also ridiculously long, does that make up for anything?) Plus, there's a bonus segment!

**Disclaimer: **Kamen Rider Double doesn't belong to me. I don't even own the DVDs, they're too expensive.

**Spoilers:** Episode 1 and Episode 2 That's all really. (There are a hell of a lot of smatterings of speculation that shouldn't be taken to heart in here as well.)

_**Detective**_

She's never been to a city with air that tasted so clean. There's an almost thematic surplus of wind chimes and pinwheels everywhere, and the breeze buffets her hair as she walks down the street. The gentle sounds all overlap into a subtle kind of music. She's traveled light, with nothing but a backpack that has only the necessities; tooth brush and tooth paste, shampoo and soap, some extra clothes, a hairbrush, a towel, a pair of new green slippers, and some other random things tucked inside and slung over one shoulder. Two children with school bags walk past her, a bounce to each of their steps.

"Good morning!" they chorus, and Akiko smiles at them.

"Good morning," she replies cheerfully as they trot onwards, presumably towards their school.

It's not a bad place at all, she decides, as she watches them go, it's wonderful even. She doesn't understand why her mother had seemed so adamant about her not coming here. The moment she had received the letter informing her that she was now officially in charge of her father's detective agency, her mother had reacted badly and had practically ordered Akiko not to go. Akiko understands for the most part, this city has always been a sore spot with her mother. Still, it's beautiful.

"_I told him, 'That place has no opportunities, no options, and no future for Akiko. There aren't any reputable colleges there, not ones that will guarantee her a good job.' Do you know what he told me? He said 'Fuuto needs a protector.' That was it. He didn't even try to stay." Her mother folded her arms, letting out an unlady-like snort. "He was always too 'cool headed'. Not worth our time anyway." She returns her attention to Akiko. "Don't worry about him Akiko, mother will make sure you never have to see him again."_

The most ironic thing about it is that Akiko never went to college anyway, so the point of it all seems a bit lost. Her mother stopped talking about Akiko's father, Fuuto, and really anything related to the divorce a while ago anyways.

Akiko can't help but look at the chiming shops and the smiling people, feeling lighter and peaceful. She wonders if her father was right to stay here

She dismisses the thought. He's a complete stranger to her, so she has no idea what to think about him, in the end. For her, managing her father's building is a potential job, and she wouldn't mind having one outside of serving okonomiyaki at their neighbor's restaurant. That's all. She'll be heading back home after it's been sorted out, and keep track of it from Oosaka. All she has to do is evict the invalid living there without apparent permission.

With this thought in mind, she stops before it, double checking it against her map. The faded sign reads 'Kamome Billiards'. There are more wind ornaments atop the single story building and overall, it's somewhat underwhelming.

"This is the place huh," she thinks aloud, walking up to the door. She notices there's another sign there, an old fashioned looking wooden plaque that reads 'Narumi Detective Agency' in finely printed kanji. Taped to the edge of this is an additional, partially shredded cardboard rectangle. "We'll solve any type of incident, Hard Boiled," she reads aloud.

Well that's weird.

As if on cue, she hears the rumble of a motorbike from behind her, coming to a stop.

She turns around, and is met with the sight of a young man, a few years older than her sitting astride a flashy looking green and black motorcycle. The paint shines, the gaudy shades apparent. He's wearing white striped shirt with a black vest, and red tie for some reason. He reaches down and takes up his hat from its resting place at his hip, and places it on his head carefully, with a deliberate amount of overworked class.

"Do you have some business with me?" he asks, a hand still touching the brim of his black Windscale fedora with one finger. He isn't old enough to act that serious, Akiko decides, and thinks about saying so. Instead, she asks him,

"What's 'hard boiled'?"

He just looks at her a moment, and then he blinks.

"You don't know?" he asks. Akiko scowls, placing her hands on her hips.

"Would I be asking you if I did?" He's not all that bright, even for a squatter. The man looks disgruntled, but he seems to regain his composure, adjusting his hat again.

"Well, come on inside then," he says. He opens the door, gesturing for her to follow him to the second floor.

* * *

The interior of the place, in Akiko's opinion, is relatively boring. Again, it looks too serious, too grown up. The man can't be more than five years older than her; it doesn't suit him. She looks around, taking note of the various hats hanging on the wall. A billiard table is against the wall with a dartboard hanging above it. The desk has an assortment of old fashioned things on top of it, including a typewriter and an ancient telephone. The man walks over to a glass paneled cabinet, opening it and drawing out a novel. The title is in English, which has never been her strong suit.

"Not being swayed, no matter the situation, it's a man-among-men lifestyle." He walks over to the desk chair and sits, swiveling around to face the wall. "That's 'Hard boiled'," he finishes, looking at her, solemn.

Oh well, she doesn't really care. She throws her jacket onto the desk, rummages through her backpack for the paper, and pulls it out triumphantly.

"Well, I'm evicting you, so pack up."

She's never actually seen someone choke on air before, but somehow he does it.

"_What?_" he demands, rising from his leather seat. Akiko scoffs.

"I'm the new landlady here. You're living here illegally and without permission. I'm kicking you out." The man snatches the registration paper from her, examining it thoroughly. He straightens, giving her a condescending look.

"Well well well, you're an ambitious middle school girl aren't you?" he remarks. "Unfortunately, I can't have you interfering with my work here." Akiko glares.

"I just came here from Osaka, and I already can tell that your 'work' isn't helpful at all, you're just a wannabe detective. And, for your information, I'm twenty years old."

The man stares, looking her over again.

"I don't believe you," he informs her. Akiko throws her hands up in the air.

"Well it's true. I'm Narumi Akiko, I'm the landlady, and you're going to leave, soon, now, go on, pack," she tells him, frustrated. She half expected him to go off on another tangent about detective work and being boiled, but instead, she got a wide eyed stare from him.

"Narumi? You're the boss's daughter?" he asks. There's an emotion in his voice that catches her attention, she can't tell exactly what it is.

"Yeah, I received notice that he's handing over the ownership of this place to me. I came over here to find out why, and to get rid of the squatter who's been hanging around without paying rent for several months," she says. While the man bristles, denying the title as squatter vehemently with his eyes before he calms down, looking away from her and glancing over to the wall with the assorted fedoras hanging off it.

"If you're looking for him…" he trails off. "He's not here."

"He's gone? Why?" she demands. "I didn't hear anything about him leaving."

"Well, he won't be returning for...a while." It sounds like there's something weighing down on his chest, or his throat.

"What do you mean-?" Akiko begins, but is interrupted by the door bell. The man seems perfectly happy with the distraction and goes to answer it. Not knowing what else to do, Akiko finds herself trailing after him.

"Sho-chan," Akiko hears from the door. It occurs to Akiko that the man hasn't actually introduced himself to her formally, she doesn't know his name yet.

"Marina?" the detective wannabe asks. Recognition solidifies. "Marina!"

* * *

The woman, Marina, is pretty, in a quiet, soft way that Akiko never had any hope of attaining. At first, Akiko thinks she's an old girl friend, because of how familiarly she addresses the detective, but after she watches the two of them talk for a few minutes, she changes her mind, especially when the woman, Marina, brings up her boyfriend's missing person case and 'Sho-chan' doesn't even blink. There really isn't anything there other than the comfortable familiarity.

Akiko silently bets that this Marina only came here because of that friendship. Otherwise, no one would come to this weird agency to ask this equally weird fedora wearing man for help.

Although, the utter conviction in his voice as he swears to Marina that he'll find her boyfriend, Yousuke, no matter what, makes her think otherwise, just a little bit.

So she tags along.

* * *

"Who are you anyways?" she asks, following him as he stops by another store, holding up the picture and making small talk with the owner. It's nearly ridiculous, how many people he seems to know in this city. Fuuto isn't too large, but it isn't tiny either. In spite of that, he acts as if he's talked with and knows everyone. Its like the city really is his backyard.

Upon hearing her question, he turns around, tracing a finger along the side of his hat, again.

"Hidari Shotaro," he says. "Private detective, protector of this city. Your father's one and only student."

"Huh," Akiko responds, deadpan and unimpressed. The idea of this overly dramatic Shotaro person spending time with, learning from, and talking to her father stirs up a tiny voice of jealousy deep in the back of her head, but she ignores it.

* * *

When he meets up with the police in the middle of a half collapsed tunnel that has a section of the fourth floor of a building crumpled in the middle of it, she has to rethink her opinion of him again. (Well, the seemingly random shouting match he had with that younger police detective fit in with her image of a detective wannabe idiot just fine, but everything else...) The casual way the senior police detective, 'Jin-san', greets Shotaro has Akiko pausing. They clearly know each other, they've worked together before. This senior police detective isn't trying to shoo Shotaro away, he isn't treating Shotaro like a civilian.

So maybe Shotaro isn't an amateur after all, she decides.

Shotaro carefully snaps some photographs, and both he and 'Jin-san' mention something, 'Dopant'. She tries to ask about it, but the two of them are either ignoring her, or they're too absorbed in their discussion to explain anything...which would also involve ignoring her.

Jin-san hands Shotaro info on the case, asking him for help, and it makes Akiko wonder. Has Shotaro really been that instrumental in solving cases? He acts more like he belongs in some cheesy television show, but this Jin-san person is acting as if Shotaro is reliable.

And she still hasn't been able to figure out what 'Dopant' is. She's been wracking her brain, she's never heard of it before.

* * *

Shotaro is talking to himself again, looking through the photographs that were in the file Jin-san had handed to him. It's getting kind of annoying, and he's still ignoring her.

So she pulls out one of her green slipper and smacks him across the head with it.

It makes a rather satisfying cracking sound.

"What the-? Ow!"

"Would you stop acting 'cool' and explain?" she demands. "What the heck is a Dopant?" Shotaro rubbed his head, looking at her incredulously.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you that violence is wrong?"

Before Akiko can even begin to form a response to that, his phone rings. (a weird model, it looks like a stag beetle.)

"Phillip!" he says, sounding a little too relieved.

_Phillip?_

A foreign name, unfamiliar and seemingly out of the blue.

"Did you take a look at the picture I sent you?"

She hates listening to only half of a conversation. She leans in closer, trying hear. Shotaro catches on to her instantly, backing away, one arm stretched out in front of him as if to stave off her approach.

"I want to know about the culprit's abilities. Find out which Gaia Memory it is, okay?"

It's so _annoying_. What did any of that mean?

And then Shotaro stops moving.

"Ah. Never mind."

Akiko falters, perplexed. This Phillip person seems to think the same, to some extent, because Shotaro answers her question of _'why_?'

"Because he's here in person, right in front of my eyes."

And this is the point when Akiko realizes that Shotaro's wary gaze is directed some place behind her, towards the tunnel, and she whirls around time to see a, well, a monster, some parts of it a charcoal like darkened crust, glowing orange underneath through the cracks, the air around it shimmering from the heat.

"The Gaia Memory is Magma," Shotaro finishes, and then he's grabbing hold of Akiko's arm, telling her to run.

* * *

Somehow, Shotaro has all the gadgets of a tv show special agent, because they're now hanging from a building from a tether connected to his watch, the reeling mechanism lowering them down to the ground slowly. The concrete down below is still glowing, scarred forever.

"What was that thing?" Akiko is breathless. "Just what is up with this town?"

"I told you, if you value your life, you should go back home," Shotaro says sounding almost smug.

So _annoying._ Akiko decides the ground is close enough, and elbows her very much not so gallant idiot detective rescuer in the stomach, dropping down, narrowly missing a patch of scorched pavement. Ignoring his shouts of protest, she takes off running, back to the detective agency.

* * *

She is officially done with being nice.

Not that she had come with the intention of being nice in the first place anyways, but that's besides the point. She is pissed, she's going to kick the stupid detective out, and she's now dumping all of his belongings into boxes.

It occurs to her that she is now doing his packing for him, but the thought of being able to boot him out sooner than later is more attractive than the thought of making him do it himself. He can worry about the condition of his stupid wall pictures and fedoras later-

And that section of wall is actually a door.

She pauses, looking it over. It's rather unassuming, with all the hats on it, it doesn't look like anything other than a hat display in an alcove in the wall. The knob is subtly placed. She prods it, and decides that nothing, not even the unspoken moral code of privacy will stop her from satisfying her curiosity now. And besides, she's the landlady, privacy does not exist for the people living in _her _building.

So she throws the door open.

Inside is what looks like a garage, yellow railings, elevated metal grate floors, and walls covered with white boards writing scrawled across each one, everything illuminated by a slightly blue tinted light. Muttering echoes throughout the entire room, a male voice, soft and quiet.

"...volcanoes erupt frequently within Japan due to more aggressive interaction between the tectonic plates, number of intersecting fault lines is..."

More squeaking noises, of dry erase marker against white board. Footsteps, metallic, pacing back and forth. The radio is on as well.

He looks closer to her age than Shotaro does anyways, but more slender. His clothes are completely different too, they certainly look more comfortable than the button down shirt, tie and vest combination Shotaro is sporting, part of his hair is pinned back with barrettes. He's busily flipping through a book, reading aloud from it no doubt.

"Um, excuse me?" Akiko asks.

He stops muttering, stops writing, and turns towards her. His eyes scan over her for a couple of seconds.

Then he turns back to the white boards, writing again.

"Would you mind not interrupting me?" The request is too straightforward to be polite, but his tone of voice is too bland to be rude. It's somewhere in between, Akiko is puzzled.

"Huh?"

"'Silicon dioxide' gives rise to 150,870 corresponding results," he murmurs. "Of those, I have finished reading 142,650..."

She has now met two people today who seem to enjoy talking to themselves. At least Shotaro is easier to understand though.

It's then that Akiko notices that the book he's 'reading' from, is completely blank.

_Blank._

She tries to make sense of it, and quickly decides that she really can't.

"Hey, could it be that you're Phillip?" she calls instead. He doesn't stop writing this time. "That wannabe detective's partner?"

"Narumi Akiko," he replies, still scrawling out some other statistics.

"Eh?"

Now he's walking over to another whiteboard that has more space on it to write.

"I have read through all of the information relating to you. Nothing of interest." He pauses, before stepping up onto a stool in order to reach on of the higher white boards. "Hurry up and return to that Osaka or whatever city."

"Whatever?" Akiko echoes. "You don't know about Osaka?" She supposes that's not any stranger than a big magma monster, but still. She ponders it. "I mean, at the very least, it's more well known than Fuuto. Like, takoyaki, and-"

He freezes.

* * *

Phillip has rewritten the contents of nearly all the white boards, babbling about takoyaki, it's origins, it's rise in popularity, the percentages of annual sales, and Akiko can't follow anything else. Three quarters of the words that spill from Phillip's mouth make absolutely no sense to her. Some of it is in a foreign language. She has no idea how on earth he could know so much about takoyaki, and yet it sounds as if he's learning all of this for the first time. He paces, walking between the white boards as if possessed, scribbling and muttering and _there is something seriously off about this guy._

"What the hell are you doing here?"

She's almost happy to hear Shotaro's voice, at least now she can turn to him for help in the face of this, this _weirdness._

"Ah, Shotaro," Phillip exclaims, cheerfully. "This girl is amazing. It's a fascinating new subject." He turns, looking both eager and childish. "You have'nt heard of it have you, this food called 'takoyaki!"

Shotaro is staring blankly. Then he turns, looking at the walls.

"Takoyaki. Kobe. Broth. There are 3,543,280 search results," Phillip continues, as if he's reading off the figures from his empty book. "A novel way of eating."

And now Shotaro's gaze snaps back to Akiko.

"Now you've done it," he says indignantly. "You've gone and sidetracked him!"

"What's up with this guy?" she almost wails. She's tried to stop him and talk to him at least five times now, but nothing seems to work. She's hesitant to smack him across the head with her slipper, mainly because it's hardly warranted, and- "I just mentioned takoyaki, that's all, and then he just," she trails off, gesturing to the room. There's really no other way to describe it, considering she has absolutely no idea what is going on.

Shotaro makes a frustrated noise, turning away.

"We can't follow up on this Dopant case if he's researching takoyaki instead."

He isn't placing any of the blame on Phillip, as if it's some fact of life and is perfectly normal. Akiko would very much like to ask him about this brand of 'normal', but she decides to let that slide for now.

"There's that word again, Dopant," she prods him in the chest irritably. "Will you just tell me what it is already?"

* * *

And of course it all makes sense, really. Flashdrives. This city has magic- well, Gaia Memory flashdrives in it, ones that people can use to transform into monsters. She can't exactly laugh at it and tell him how _ridiculous_ that is, because, as he points out, she's seen it herself, but still...

Now Akiko is wondering if her mother knew about this. Maybe this is the reason why her mother hates Fuuto so much. It would make sense. Because it's _really weird._

"...akashiyaki? Kobe takoyaki? Tamago yaki? Comparisons drawn between..."

and Phillip is still 'researching'.

Shotaro lets out a long, suffering sigh, and sits down in a chair.

"Wait, if there's such a dangerous guy running around town, then why-."

"There's no helping it when he's like this," Shotaro says tiredly. Phillip wanders over to another white board and adds another line of information, with various dates and there's actually as recipe somewhere, plotted out in diagram form step by step. "We'll just have to wait it out."

Apparently Shotaro has had to 'wait it out' many times, because he has the blankets, the pillows, and a couch sitting right there off to the side.

* * *

It's morning when Phillip snaps his book shut and turns to Shotaro, not looking worse for wear at all for some odd (and slightly infuriating) reason.

"I've researched everything about takoyaki." Akiko wonders if coffee runs through Phillip's veins. There is no other explanation for how _awake _he looks right now. His voice isn't even hoarse, which is a feat in and of itself considering how he'd been talking to himself nonstop for hours.

Akiko blinks the sleep out of her eyes, feeling a crick in her neck out tenderly with her hand. Shotaro looks somewhat tired, but otherwise seems to have taken the somewhat sleepless night in stride.

"All right. Hurry up and go back to the Library," he yawns. Phillip nods, not seeming to realize that he's kept the both of them waiting all night and then some. Akiko is starting to suspect that he doesn't comprehend that it's a bad thing.

And then Phillip stands, settling into perfect posture, feet together. He drops the dry erase marker, still holding onto the book in one hand, his other sweeps outwards. His eyes are closed.

"Starting look up," Phillip says, eyes still closed, completely motionless. "The Memory is: Magma."

"Wha-" she tries to ask. Shotaro shushes her.

Considering what happened the last time she said something in Phillip's presence without thinking, she decides to listen to Shotaro this time. Shotaro walks over to Phillip.

"I want to know where he's going to attack next," he says, circling around his stationary partner. "The first keyword is 'Togawa Yosuke'."

A moment passes.

"That cut down a lot of the results."

"Well, it's because it's a person," Shotaro remarks. "The second keyword is 'Windscale', the company he was fired from." He takes up the series of photographs from the file he'd received from Jin-san. "Next, this series of characters: WS-09K-097T."

Another pause.

"Entering the tag's product number. Good idea," Phillip says. He's flipping through the pages of his empty book again.

At some point, Akiko missed the opportunity to ask 'What the hell is going on here', because now Shotaro is running out, to this 'Windscale Kazetani branch'. He says 'Let's go, Phillip' as if they're going together even though Phillip doesn't move at all, doesn't even take a step towards the door.

"You're not going?" Akiko asks. Phillip smiles at her.

"I am. The two of us are one detective after all."

* * *

And of course, that meant that Phillip was going to just stand there, leaning against the wall, 'reading'.

Akiko has settled down, made herself comfortable, and started munching on the rice crackers she'd brought with her for the trip. Nothing else to do anyways, and she's hesitant to ask Phillip any more questions, in case he has another manic researching episode.

She looks up when he starts chuckling, in time to see a belt materialize around his waist, out of thin air. (She's wondering when she'll reach the point when she won't be surprised anymore.)

Then Phillip raises his arm, a green- a Gaia Memory(?) held between his fingers.

(Apparently, that point isn't coming anytime soon.)

He slots the flashdrive-_Memory_, into the belt. Akiko watches, her eyes riveted to him. But...

nothing happens.

Then he topples over, slamming into the floor in a dead faint.

She doesn't move for a moment, blinking, before she remembers herself and hurries down, calling

"Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Obviously, she gets no response, but it's worth a shot, how else is she supposed to figure out why he's passed out in the first place? She kneels beside him, pats him on the shoulder, shakes him, pokes him. Nothing. Eventually, she resorts to fanning him. Either this boy has an incredibly frail constitution, which she highly doubts, after seeing him do nothing but research and pace around for hours and hours, or there's more weirdness going on.

And then the walls start to close in, literally, and Akiko is inside a tank.

* * *

She's got several bumps and bruises from being tossed around inside it, with a half green half black monster battling the orange magma monster-Dopant, and then a giant walking T-rex head, displayed on the screen inside the death trap of a vehicle.

If she were a lesser person, she'd throw up her hands and yell that this city is _not worth all this trouble. _She doesn't mean it anyways, but she would very much like to get a _proper explanation sooner than later.__  
_

* * *

So yes, Akiko is ruffled and bothered, and yes, she's demanding an explanation of the weird tank and the half and half monster. Phillip is standing off to the side, 'reading' still, and Shotaro is looking severely miffed at her rantings, the radio is playing in the background.

"'Half and half monster' you say," he repeats, taking offense. "That isn't a monster, it's Double."

And that definitely illuminates everything, of course it does, really, everything's so clear now except for the fact that it isn't. And is _he _getting all ruffled and defensive about it anyways? But before she can ask anything else, Shotaro strides over to the radio, cranking the volume up higher.

Togawa Yousuke, Marina's boyfriend, is dead.

* * *

Phillip is unfazed, remarking in a bland voice that it seems like an accomplice with a different memory silenced him.

Shotaro is quiet for a moment, before he picks up the phone and dials.

Akiko tries to imagine what it would be like to tell your childhood friend that her boyfriend has been found dead, the boyfriend that you had promised to find for her, and finds that she can't.

* * *

Shotaro comes back from investigating another lead with a bloodied lip, and a bruised cheek bone, waving off Akiko's questions, muttering something about getting ambushed and then he's asking Phillip to go back into the Library.

Which, apparently is a source of data about every single thing on the planet, which is all inside Phillip's mind, according to Shotaro.

Keywords: Windscale, Feather, and Woman.

Akiko wonders if having all that information in his head is the reason why Phillip can write out Marina's name without even reacting, without changing his expression. He writes out the name of Shotaro's childhood friend just like any fact, any line of numbers. It doesn't seem to make any difference to him.

Facts come together, and really, when they put it all together, it makes so much sense, it seems so obvious, even if it is unfair.

"Shall I predict what happens next?" Phillip inquires, replacing the cap on his dry erase marker, turning away from the white board. "You will act under your naive presumptions, and the evil criminal will try to kill you."

It makes sense. It does. It makes sense to Shotaro too, Akiko can see the grimace that flickers across the detective's face.

"She is completely under the influence of the Gaia Memory. She may even start to devour you," Phillip remarks, seeming almost _amused_.

Granted, Akiko can't feel very sympathetic, because Marina has already killed a man, but-

"Even so, I still want to believe in her," Shotaro says, defiant.

"The only proper course of action is to finish her," Phillip replies.

Shotaro shifts, exhaling.

"Well, looks like we're of different opinions then," he says, lightly, obviously trying to play the seriousness of it down, something that Phillip either ignores, or doesn't pick up on.

"It's strange," he persists. "'A man of iron who acts without being swayed by his emotions', isn't that the 'hard-boiled' style you so favor?" He turns away, dismissively. "It would seem you are more akin to a undercooked egg. 'Half-boiled'."

Akiko can see it happening, even if Phillip only turns around in time just to see the punch. It sends him staggering backwards into the desk.

Shotaro takes out the three flash drives, purple, steel, and blue - (he has Gaia Memories on him too?) from his vest, and slams them down onto the desk beside Phillip. Then he walks out, without a word.

Akiko watches him leave. Once the door shuts behind him, she turns back to Phillip who gets back to his feet slowly, touching a hand to his face, looking perplexed.

"Are you okay?" she asks, hurrying over to him. Phillip, his fingers still prodding the soon to be bruise, looks at her.

"Mm, I am all right."

Watching him, it occurs to Akiko that this person has absolutely no idea that what he just said was upsetting.

_Does that even count as being insensitive if he doesn't understand?_

She doesn't stay to answer her own question. She follows after Shotaro instead._  
_

* * *

Which is a bad idea, and she's made painfully aware of this when all the explosions and such begin, but she can hardly be blamed for being concerned, can she?

This is when she sees the T-Rex Dopant, Marina, for the first time, and the initial thought that cross her mind is

_Oh wow, she really could_ eat us.

and the homicidal woman even says as much. In a very creepy way. Before letting out a roar that Akiko swears nearly ruptures her ear drums. It certainly is powerful enough to shake the foundations of the buildings around them, strong enough to knock loose some debris that are about to crush Shotaro and-

That same tank comes barreling past Akiko, screeching across the street, and ramming the chunks of potentially lethal building before skidding to a stop beside Shotaro. The hatch opens, and Phillip climbs out, making his way over to Shotaro, who, still kneeling on the ground, looks in the other direction, wincing.

"What is it now?" he asks, not sounding exactly _sulky_, but Akiko can't think of any other word that fits.

"I did quite a bit of thinking, and I still couldn't find an answer," Phillip replies. "Why did you hit me?" He comes to a stop in front of Shotaro, and extends his hand.

Shotaro looks up at him, and then he gives an almost fondly exasperated sigh, before he takes the hand, allowing Phillip to help him to his feet.

-and just like that, they've made up. Either it's a guy thing, or it's a detective thing. It doesn't really matter, Akiko can't help but feel happy for them.

and then the two of them transform into the half and half monster- _Double_. Phillip crumples to the ground, and then Shotaro transforms, only, it's also Phillip, because Phillip, as Double, asks Akiko to take care of his body, but it's Shotaro, because-

She gives up. Common sense is kicked out the window, and she just, goes with it.

...She'll have to make a new sign for the detective agency though.

* * *

_B is for Bonus drabble and:  
_

_**Blame**_

After Narumi Sokichi died, Shotaro is the one to call his wife to tell her.

She doesn't take it well.

Shotaro can hardly argue with her, so he just stands there, alone in the detective agency with the phone pressed to his ear, eyes staring dead ahead as he listens to her scream at him about how he doesn't deserve any of what her husband has given him, that Sokichi isn't and never was his father, just because Narumi Sokichi had left all of his money to Shotaro doesn't make Shotaro anything more than some upstart wannabe detective, freeloading, ungrateful. She shrieks that it's Shotaro's fault that her husband had died.

Shotaro vaguely wonders-

_How did you know?_

Because it's true.

* * *

She calls again, on the wedding anniversary. She has calmed down considerably, but she isn't any less bitter. She repeats many of the things she had said before, but this time her words are more coherent, more organized, and the points she makes seem sharper and they sting a lot more.

* * *

Somehow, the phone line gets disconnected on Shotaro's birthday. It's the first time Phillip has ever gone out of his way to do something like that on Shotaro's behalf. It's the first time Phillip has ever gone out of his way to do anything, in fact. It would have made Shotaro much happier if he weren't busy trying not to remember all the birthdays that his teacher had celebrated with him, quietly, in a manly, gruff way, but there had always been a hand on his shoulder, and a smile.

none of that now, never again, and all that's left is silence, and Phillip. Phillip who watches him with eyes that don't comprehend the emotions, but they understand the facts.

That's why, Phillip doesn't offer any comfort, but he does get rid of the phone.

* * *

And then, one day, after Akiko's settled in, the phone rings again, and Shotaro's been expecting it. Phillip is in the garage, studying the anatomy of the chameleon.

But Akiko isn't, and Akiko is the one to answer it, before Shotaro can move. He sits completely still, eyes widened, hand still partially outstretched. Akiko is oblivious.

"Hello, this is Narumi Detective Agency, how can I-. Mom!"

there's a pause.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm the landlady here now, mom. I've got responsibilities," she says.

another pause.

"What?" now Akiko's sounding annoyed. "He left it for me, I'm not going to just get rid of it." Shotaro tries not the lean forwards, and he does his best to try and pretend that he's not listening, even picks up a book and opens it to a random page, but he strains his ears all the same, trying to hear.

He can't make out the words, but her mother sounds angry.

"Mom," Akiko interrupts, brow furrowed. "You're overreacting-. What?"

More shouting. Akiko looks perplexed, and Shotaro catches her looking over to him for a second, a gaze that Shotaro does not meet, and makes an admirable show of looking engrossed in the novel he's chosen as his camouflage. Akiko turns away again, keeping her eyes fixed on the wall, and makes several noises of placation, agreement, trying to get another word in, but the volume of her mother's voice increases. Akiko starts drumming her fingers on Shotaro's-, his _teacher's_ desk. She's looking more and more irritated.

Finally, she's gritting her teeth, she kicks the desk. Normally, Shotaro would protest at this abuse, and indeed, he opens his mouth to object, but Akiko's yelling now, huffing and irritable.

"_Mom_, he may seem like an idiot, but he's a good detective, he's trying his best, he's saving lives, and he's a _good person_. I'm not going to kick him out just because you said so!"

and with that, she slams the phone down, making a frustrated noise.

Shotaro flips a page, as casually as he can, and clears his throat.

"That, uh, what was that about?" he asks, and his voice _wavers, _crap. He slumps his shoulders a little, but still can't seem to look at his 'landlady'.

"That...was my mom," Akiko responds, sounding just as uncertain as him. "Um, well, she's-, Fuuto's a sore spot for her, so... She's just being ridiculous."

Finally, Shotaro plucks up the resolve to look at her.

Her arms are folded across her chest, and her face is pink.

"And your book is upside down," she mutters, before stomping out of the room.

and so it is, and was, and _damn it he's not doing so well with the hard boiled thing today but-_

He allows himself a smile.

and Akiko's mother doesn't call back again.


	5. E is for Expressions

**AN: **My final exams are over, and I'm free for a month until I start my summer job! I plan to get as much writing in as possible. This one's a bit short, but the one after it hopefully makes up for this.

**Disclaimer: **Kamen Rider Double doesn't belong to me. I don't even own the DVDs, they're too expensive.

**Spoilers:** ...None, actually. XD

_**Expressions**_

Phillip's eyes seem a bit too wide, too glazed over with something distinctly inhuman. When he's interested in something, the smile pulls the corners of his mouth up, and a manic tint colors them instead, but that seems to be it, those two expressions. That's all Shotaro really sees, for a while after they first start working together. Strangeness, mania, and the blank expression that shows whenever Phillip's looking information up in the Library.

It doesn't do much to improve Shotaro's opinion of his new partner. Naturally, it's unnerving. Shotaro puts up with it without saying anything for a while. He's been able to gather that Phillip honestly doesn't know anything about people, society, how to have a normal conversation. He doesn't appear to have experience with anything other than research, so it's probably to be expected that Phillip doesn't know much of anything about emotions and expressions.

Even so, Phillip responds to a Dopant related murder with a simple 'Interesting', as if it means absolutely nothing because it probably does, to him, one too many times. One too many times, the existence of other people in his world of data doesn't faze him, doesn't register, and Shotaro is tired of it, tired of not reacting, tired of making the usual excuses for Phillip to himself, because why should he?

He tells Phillip so, grabs him by the shoulders and yells at him, because Shotaro doesn't know how to get his point across any other way. He reminds Phillip that this person that's just died, she had a husband, children, a valuable, irreplaceable life that's been stolen from her. She was probably terrified, scared out of her mind. She probably had dreams, things that she still wanted to do, and that's all gone now. Forever. And her family will never get to see her again.

Phillip tilts his head to one side, his brow furrowed.

"Why are you angry?" is all he asks. There's nothing else there, no guilt, not even a hint of irritation at Shotaro's outburst.

Shotaro stares into his eyes for a moment longer, slowly catching his breath. Then he lets him go, ire draining from him, replaced with a feeling of resignation.

"Never mind," he says. "Just, go ahead and add Suzuhara Kyoko's name to the list of keywords, and see if that narrows anything else down."

So Phillip sweeps his arm out, book in hand, eyes closed, still as stone. When he opens his eyes again, he's writing more information out on the board, no new suspects yet, but there's another connection between Kyoko and the other victims, so Shotaro has another lead to investigate at last.

As he's putting his hat on, ready to head out again, he notices Phillip watching him, forehead slightly creased, a finger touched to his lip, puzzling over things in his roundabout, overly complicated way, no doubt.

At the very least, Shotaro thinks to himself as he walks out the door, Phillip's added 'confusion' to his still very limited repertoire.


	6. F is for Family

**AN:** This letter reproduced via budding. 'F' applies to a couple of things that are all related and follow the same theme, so…yeah.

**Disclaimer: **Kamen Rider Double doesn't belong to me. I don't even own the DVDs, they're too expensive.

**Spoilers: **Part 1 - Episodes 9, 10, and Begins Night. Part 2 - Nothing, just speculation. Part 3 - The last couple episodes, give or take, and again, a lot of speculation.

_**Part 1: Father**_

It's an odd thought that popped into her head one day over breakfast.

It's been lingering around at the back of her mind like a whisper ever since she learned that her father had died, maybe even before that, when she had tried that harebrained infiltration into the Sonozaki house as a maid and tried her hand at being a detective herself. The notion has been persistently been clamoring around her for two days now and doesn't seem to be showing any signs of fading. It frustrates her, because it's so stupid, but somehow she finds herself one day coming home with the groceries with it clamped to her ear, a question demanding to be answered like some horrible talking earring.

Or something like that.

It's been a quiet day so far, and Shotaro isn't typing up any reports. He has his legs propped up, sitting in the desk chair with one of his detective novels, engrossed. Akiko normally finds this impressive, because this is one of the English ones, and even though it takes Shotaro about a month to read each one, his accent is atrocious, and he checks the dictionary every other word, it's better than she's ever been able to do, but today she can't stop to appreciate the normally stupid detective's dogged focus.

"Hey Shotaro," she calls. He doesn't seem to hear her. "Shotaro," she repeats, louder. He still doesn't look up. Akiko scowls and draws her green slipper out from her pocket and takes aim.

It hits him square in the forehead with a satisfying smack. He almost drops his book, making an undignified squawking noise as he drops his legs down and sits up, clutching his face with one hand.

"What the-. Akiko!" he yells, glaring up at her. She pauses, her green slipper still poised in the air, because she isn't sure how to ask the question now that she has his attention. Apparently she waited too long, or maybe his detective skills are sharper than she realizes, because he instantly sobers up.

"What is it?" he asks, slipping a bookmark in between the pages and shutting it. Akiko thinks about it for a half a second before she decides that there really isn't a good way to start, so it just jumps out of her mouth in raw, unrefined, brain vomit form.

"Did my father tell you about me or talk about me, or did you even know that I existed and was his daughter, or that he had a daughter or anything like that?"

Akikp swears the silence is thicker than one of the cold sticks of butter sitting in her grocery bag. She really should put it into the refrigerator soon.

"What?" Shotaro seems to echo. Either the question, which Akiko will admit, isn't the most articulate of sentences, hasn't registered, or he simply doesn't know what to say. Akiko is terrible at reading people, but she looks at him a moment, and realizes, heart sinking marginally, that it's the latter. She shouldn't have expected anything, not really. She can't deny to herself that it hurts a bit though.

"He never mentioned me at all did he?" she says dully.

Shotaro shifts awkwardly, as if he's suddenly become uncomfortable in his own skin. He averts his eyes, coughing into his fist and places his book onto the desk.

"He never really talked to me about his family," he says softly. Akiko keeps her eyes on him, waiting, listening with everything she has for the 'but he did say this' or the 'except for that one time when he said that', but Shotaro trails off. He glances up at her and cringes at her expression. Akiko probably looks too hopeful for her own good. "He told me that he had a wife and daughter, but whenever I asked, he just said the he couldn't be with them anymore," he admits, almost guilty. Akiko stands there for a few moments, unmoving.

"Oh," she says. "Yeah, I guess he'd say that huh?" Then she pauses, almost smacking herself in the forehead. "I mean, I'd say that if I knew, that is. Even if I say that, I'm not really sure." She laughs. It sounds nervous to her ears.

Shotaro still fumbles for words, and Akiko tries not to blame him for it. It's not his fault that her father didn't care about her. He'd never known her really. She could barely remember him; it was only natural that the same could be said for her. He probably was too focused on cleaning up the city's criminals and helping clients to think about her. He'd left his wife, her mother, for his city. It stood to reason that he'd leave behind his daughter too.

She hadn't known him, and he hadn't known her. She doesn't even know if her father had wanted to know her. She probably never will.

She marches over to the refrigerator, plunking the plastic bag onto the counter and yanks out the contents, frustrated with how depressing her thoughts are becoming. She's never let it bother her before, and she's always bounced back whenever it's snuck up on her and reminded her. She shoves the various food items and ingredients into the drawers and shelves, not caring to organize them. She doesn't even remember what she bought the ingredients for. She's almost gotten everything in, in record time, when Shotaro speaks up again from behind her.

"There was one time though," he calls, and she turns back to him, trying so hard to crush her hope with a mental slipper. Shotaro looks at her, his eyes are always honest. In spite of his life's goal to be hardboiled, Akiko just knows that Shotaro will never learn to lie. He won't be able to even if he wants to, because she knows that his eyes will always give him away. "I'm pretty sure I wasn't supposed to hear," he admits. "But I overheard him talking to someone over the phone. He was asking about someone, a girl."

Akiko stops breathing. Shotaro turns to face the wall, swallowing, but he keeps talking.

"He wanted to know how she was doing, I think. I doubt anyone'd notice but me, but he was pretty upset at whoever was on the phone with him."

"That was my mom." Akiko's voice somehow returns, a small thing now, cowed by memories that she doesn't have. She gropes through her mind for them anyway, finding scraps of a voice, a face. She can't be sure if they're real recollections though, or simple wishful thinking. "He was calling my mom about me, and she refused to tell him anything didn't she?"

"I think so," Shotaro murmurs. He struggles to get something else out, before he sighs, giving up and turning back to face her. "I'm sorry. That's the only thing."

Akiko just stands there, still holding a package of leeks. She tries to remember if she'd ever managed to eavesdrop on any of her mother's phone conversations. Maybe she'd heard some of the other half of the argument that Shotaro's talking about. She can't remember. She only has Shotaro's word, which she knows to be true, as always, but it's a small thing.

Even so, it's enough, somehow.

"No, thank you," she says. She can already feel her usual cheer returning. She walks over and elbows him in the ribs, grinning. "So you listened in on my dad's phone conversations did you?" she teases. Shotaro, true to natural form, splutters and flails an arm in involuntary comedic protest.

"Wha-? No, no I didn't!" he yells. "I mean, I didn't do it on purpose, I just got back late from finding that woman's cat-, I mean, my independent assignment, and-."

"You searched for lost cats?" Akiko asks, delighted. "So _that's_ why you hate accepting pet related jobs! They were your old homework assignments when you were a baby detective!" She grins, getting her desired huffing and puffing. She's acting a bit, eager to move on from the awkward, somewhat tender moment. She feels a little silly, but Shotaro always makes her feel better, unwittingly or not.

But after they finish arguing about Shotaro's 'adorable baby detective days', and after Phillip comes out of the back room to sit beside the radio in preparation for Wakana's radio broadcast, five minutes early as usual, 'because the broadcast time occasionally fluctuates', as he always says when asked, Akiko looks over to Shotaro and catches his eye. Shotaro smiles at her, reassuring her, and suddenly Akiko thinks that Shotaro might be more grown up than she thought.

* * *

_**Part 2: Father II**_

Akiko asks a lot of questions, Phillip has surmised. He's drawn up a mental statistic chart in his mind. She asks an average of 23 questions a day from what he's observed of her ever since she came into his and Shotaro's life. They span over a wide range of topics, never seeming to follow any particularly cohesive stream of reasoning. The first question of the day, asked over breakfast, is, like all the others, not related to any of her previous ones.

"Shotaro, if you've been with my father all this time, where're your parents?"

Phillip pauses, his vanilla flavored coffee filled mug three inches from his lips. His eyes immediately snap over to Shotaro, calculating the dimensions of his partner's face. Shotaro's expression has frozen in place, and in spite of that, this tells Phillip even more than if Shotaro said it himself. Shotaro puts down his own coffee mug, 'black' of course, even though Phillip knows that Shotaro prefers roughly 45 ml of milk and a cube of sugar.

"I, uh," Shotaro says, his voice halting. Phillip looks over at Akiko, taking in her innocently curious eyes, know that she didn't mean anything by it, but also understanding perfectly why Shotaro doesn't know what to say. Phillip could say it easily, because it isn't him, and the space in his mind where his true family memories should be isn't there anymore. He's missing some vital connections, so he doesn't understand, but he can deduct from what his partner isn't saying.

Phillip could explain it. He's read it all in Hidari Shotaro's book.

Shotaro's taking too long; Akiko's starting to look concerned.

"I don't really know," the half boiled detective says at last, looking like he wants very much to shrug his shoulders, but also not wanting to because it isn't hard boiled behavior. "I haven't seen them in a while."

Akiko doesn't seem mollified in the slightest, which is only natural considering her personality type and mental maturity level.

"Eehhh? How come?" she asks incredulously.

Shotaro's book says that his parents both maintained steady and successful careers during their marriage. It says that they hired various different caretakers to mind their son in their absence. There are several recordings of these different hired child minders calling the police about their 'missing' charge. Each occurrence of this ended with authorities discovering 'the missing child in question was found someplace, somewhere in the city, talking with friends and not acting lost at all,' a quote from an officer.

There are also divorce papers included in the book. The mother moved to Tokyo, the father went to America. Custody was not an issue; the son had just turned eighteen that year after all. They had chosen their timing well, for their utmost convenience.

"How come?" Akiko persists, looking like she might pull out her slipper if she doesn't get an answer soon. Words seem to catch in Shotaro's throat.

"Well, that's," he begins, touching a hand to the rim of his hat. "We sort of split up and went our separate ways a while ago, and we don't talk much," he explains, looking uncomfortable and awkward. Akiko's pauses, her body language changing abruptly from looking slightly indignant about Shotaro's supposed 'negligence', to more guilty.

"I'm sorry," she said, more quietly. "I shouldn't have asked like that."

Shotaro shifts in his seat, and casts his gaze around the room, searching for the right words to say.

"Uh, well, it's not really a problem or anything. I wanted to stay in Fuuto, and neither of them did, so," he trails off.

"But, that's still sad isn't it?" Akiko asks. "You don't see either of your parents at all now?"

Shotaro continues to fumble with reassurances that really, he is fine, but Phillip knows it will take more than that to appease Akiko. Phillip takes a sip of his coffee, smiling into the mug. There is no official statement about how Shotaro's employment as Narumi Sokichi's student came about, but it's easy to put the pieces together. As Shotaro's conversation with Akiko deteriorates, as it always does, the girl pulls out her dreaded weapon of green plastic and smacks it across Shotaro's head.

"Ow! What was that for?" he demands, wincing.

"Because you're not letting me feel bad for you," Akiko yells hotly.

"What-? That doesn't even make any sense!"

Breakfast is going to grow cold at this rate, and they'll have to clean up soon so they can open up their doors for customers, Phillip thinks absentmindedly as he watches the two of them bicker. Still, it seems fitting that they'd start a fight like this. It probably doesn't make much sense to Akiko, that Shotaro can be so accepting and calm about something that would be heartrending to an average child, but Phillip understands, even if he doesn't know anything about having parents.

Shotaro has always been fine with not having his parents with him, it hasn't even occurred to him that it might be unfortunate that his experience growing up was like that. He's never felt cheated, or regretted his family's segregation, because, Phillip knows, even if there weren't any adoption papers in Narumi Sokichi and Hidari Shotaro's books, there might as well have been.

* * *

_**Part 3: Foster family**_

Akiko is akin to a precocious little sister who tries to act more mature than she actually is. She expresses her concerns and worries like how she does with everything else, loudly. In spite of her frequent acts of relatively harmless violence, she genuinely cares and tries her best to do what she can. She doesn't resemble Narumi Sokichi at all, at first glance, but Shotaro's come to see his teacher in her. She truly is her father's daughter, even if she does have a long way to go.

Phillip hadn't seemed to acknowledge her very much at first. She was a new presence, a stranger, interesting, but no one of great importance. Over time, Shotaro noticed however, that his partner began to grow familiar with her. It might have been because she was the only other person _around _besides Shotaro that he could talk to, but Shotaro doesn't think that's all. Akiko is relatively unfazed by any and all of Phillips quirks now, and Shotaro has to admit, in spite of how determined the girl seems to be to ruin his hardboiled style, she's brought something more to the detective agency somehow, with her just _being _there.

Terui Ryu was unexpected, not entirely welcome, and a sudden new player in the field of Dopants and Gaia Memories. He had come to Fuuto with a bundle of frost bitten wounds and a pit of boiling anger inside of him. Rage that Shotaro could sympathize with and understand, but couldn't condone. Terui hadn't really wanted to get to know them, and Shotaro hadn't appreciated his presence either at first. Akiko of course, seemed to thrive off of doing the exact opposite and welcomed the 'true, hardboiled detective' with excited interest. After Shotaro had gotten to know him better, he (somewhat begrudgingly) came to agree with Akiko, but also realized that even if Terui was what Shotaro tried to be, he was at the other side of the extreme, and that too was not acceptable.

Terui, barging in, knowing way too much about _everything_, wasn't enough, but him eventually challenging their title of Kamen Rider, seemed to leave enough of a negative impression on Phillip for him to take a stand against him. (Of course, Shotaro also wonders sometimes about what was going through Terui's head when he first met the dog suit clad Phillip.) What irked Shotaro even more was how Terui treated Phillip. Like a computer. Like how Shotaro used to, before. Yet, both Phillip and Akiko were won over, by coffee, after all that had happened. (Shotaro will have to admit, that it was irritatingly good. But, he would not stand for anyone, even a skilled, experienced and talented superintendent like Terui, implying that he could take Shotaro's place as Phillip's partner. It had him stewing for a few hours after the sound of Terui's motorcycle had faded into the distance, in fact.)

In the end, Terui's sharp edges softened, and even if he didn't always show it, his countenance turned significantly warmer. It took a little while, (several rough moments, injuries, near death experiences, etc) but Terui became part of their mixed and not very well matched group, taking on the role of a stern faced brother in law, or something to that effect. (The labels truly are beginning to confuse Shotaro)

Elizabeth and Queen first met Phillip when they'd heard that Shotaro had someone else living with him in the detective agency, long before Akiko had come along. (They'd refused to leave him alone, pestering him constantly, wanting to know about his 'new girlfriend' and not believing him when he told them every time that no, Phillip was _not _his girlfriend, Phillip was _male. _He was Shotaro's _partner_, for _detective work._) So they'd come to see for themselves, and they had both converged on him, demanding to know why Phillip was wearing _Shotaro's clothes_.

(When Shotaro looked back on it now, it probably did look pretty bad, because although Phillip was roughly Shotaro's height, he wasn't as broad, and the clothes hadn't fit him all that well. This of course, did not help Shotaro's case, because Elizabeth immediately decided on the spot that Shotaro had been so adamant about not having a new girlfriend was because he had a _boyfriend. _Queen quickly came to agree with these sentiments, and Shotaro hasn't been able to convince them otherwise since then.)

The two girls promptly dragged Phillip off with them to the shopping district, forbidding Shotaro from coming along because his 'fashion sense is unique and not suited for Phillip at all' and he'd better not try and corrupt Phillip with his button down shirts, vests, and fedoras. Shotaro would have dearly loved to inform them that Phillip's current clothing situation was much better than the white pajamas he'd been sporting after he'd been rescued from the Museum, but obviously he couldn't.

When they finally brought Phillip back, they'd bought him a new wardrobe, even new shoes, and Shotaro had to begrudgingly agree with, reimburse, and thank them. They'd been right, of course, and although Phillip didn't seem to see the difference, he looked much better, and maybe now it wouldn't seem like Shotaro was _gay. _(Although, the hair clips and various hair accessories they'd included in their makeover didn't appear to be helping his case much)

Santa-chan had first come to know Phillip by chance. He'd come into the detective agency randomly one day singing a Christmas carol in badly accented English with a bag full of light up bouncy balls which he'd handed off to Shotaro, and Phillip had been in the kitchen just by chance, and had promptly run off to the back room, muttering about researching this strange 'Christmas' phenomenon. Santa-chan had been properly horrified to discover that Phillip had never celebrated Christmas, and proceeded to visit every day for twenty days with a present for him, (even though Shotaro wasn't entirely sure how old Phillip was, he guessed and told Santa-chan an estimate of how many Christmas's he had missed, since he hadn't thought his holiday loving friend would have been able to handle the shock of realizing that a person in the world apparently hadn't celebrated Christmas or their _own birthday_.)

Watcherman met Phillip for the first time in a similar way to Queen and Elizabeth, except his first reaction upon seeing Phillip, (who was of course garbed in his new more suiting attire) was to pronounce Phillip quite attractive, moreso than several of the cute girls he had met that day and that Phillip would look fabulous in a dress, and then proceeded to snap a dozen photos or so. (This of course, as usual, didn't appear to bother Phillip, although he did send Shotaro a somewhat puzzled look after the tenth photo.)

It had taken a while for Jinno to meet Phillip. Shotaro had mentioned Jinno's name in passing, and Phillip had proceeded to look up Jinno's entire family history, and then had lost interest soon after. Shotaro had also mentioned his new partner to Jinno a few times. Their first meeting had also been in the detective agency, (naturally, since Shotaro would_ prefer_ if people not drag his _wanted by Museum_ partner out on shopping expeditions.) It had been somewhat anti-climactic, and really, Shotaro hadn't expected much action anyways. Jinno had asked Shotaro where and when he and Phillip had met, and Shotaro had immediately spouted off a story about Phillip also being the student of a different private investigator who had been a childhood friend of Narumi Sokichi, who had heard of the situation in Fuuto, and had sent his student over to help manage the situation and assist the Detective Agency in investigations and such. Of course, Jinno believed Shotaro instantly, and had even asked Phillip if he'd seen any UFOs around. (This of course had sent Phillip into the back room to look up extra terrestrial sightings and encounters.)

When Shotaro looks back on it, and looks at Akiko, Terui, and all of the people that have all gathered at the detective agency to welcome Phillip back from his 'study abroad program in America', he realizes that these people are his family. An adopted sister, brother in law, two pushy fashionable cousins, two family friends, and an occasionally witless uncle, all of them form a mismatched, oddly assorted family that's as much Shotaro's as it is Phillip's.

Shotaro searches the room and finds his partner, and watches him. Phillip is more than a brother, Shotaro decides. 'Partner' is the only word that really fits. Nothing more and nothing less. Phillip was the person that Shotaro had initially treated like an amoral glitch ridden human supercomputer, and is now the person that Shotaro doesn't want to live without. Shotaro watched Phillip change, and Shotaro changed with him; they grew stronger together. Shotaro will never feel complete without Phillip, because they're two halves of a whole now, and even if Shotaro can fight by himself, can protect Fuuto by himself, he doesn't_ want _to.

He'll never tell Phillip that of course.

* * *

Shotaro has been, and always will be a constant presence in his life. He's been there, even when at first Phillip knew that he hadn't exactly wanted to, upset with what Phillip had done, blaming him still, quietly, with his body language and with his subconscious thoughts that leaked through the mental link while they fought together as Double. Phillip isn't sure when those thoughts changed, it was a gradual process. Shotaro never realized it, and still hasn't, his mind is too open, just like his heart, and Phillip doesn't want him to change that. (He doubts Shotaro ever could.)

It started with simple differences, feelings of familiarity that replaced the overarching sense of 'this is weird', 'I don't like this', with 'time to get to work'.

Residual grief turned into determination.

Uneasiness transitioned over to 'Phillip knows what to do'.

This feeling of absolute and complete trust in Phillip during battles, believing in Phillip completely, the realization that Shotaro just _knew _in his mind that Phillip would help him and make sure that they beat their opponent, was a strange one, daunting perhaps, or flattering. It's a word that escapes Phillip somehow, in spite of the vast quantities of dictionaries and encyclopedias stored in his head.

This bond brought fear, fear for Shotaro during battle, because more often than not, it's Shotaro's body they're fighting in, and Shotaro is much too reckless. It also brought determination, to ensure that Shotaro's trust was not misplaced. A desire to protect Fuuto also developed, alongside the desire to fight alongside Shotaro, together. Although, it's taken Phillip a long time to actually clarify his intentions and motives into words. He didn't fully understand them, at first, now he knows them well, and he cherishes them.

Shotaro is Phillip's partner. He is someone that Phillip respects, believes in, trusts, and cares for. He is someone that Phillip will never feel complete without, and Phillip knows that he won't have to tell Shotaro that, because Shotaro feels the same.


	7. G is for Ghost

**AN: **Ughhh, moving is horribly time consuming. I hope I'll never have to do it again.

as for this installment- am I the only one who really wanted to know more about what happened in between episode 48 and 49?

**Disclaimer: **Kamen Rider Double doesn't belong to me. I don't even own the DVDs, they're too expensive.

**Spoilers:** The entire end of the serieesssss.

**_Ghost_**

The first day is strange.

Shotaro wakes up in the morning. He brushes his teeth, gets dressed, makes a cup of coffee, drinks the cup of coffee, and says 'good morning' to Akiko when she comes in. He doesn't really think about it when Akiko doesn't respond, he doesn't take note of the fact that Akiko's actually quiet today and that's not normal at all.

He finishes his cup of coffee, reads the paper, doesn't pick up on how Akiko's just sitting at the table, hands clasped, head bowed, shoulders hunched. The clock ticks. He doesn't really understand the article he's reading. It feels as if the words are all sliding off the paper, tumbling to the floor where the frog pod is hopping around inanely and that reminds him-

"Ah, that's right. Isn't Phillip up yet?" he asks, looking up at Akiko over the newspaper. "It's not like him to sleep in so late."

And Akiko just looks at him, her expression looking worried, looking like she might start crying, looking not normal at all, not okay, not fine, not all right and-

"Shotaro?" she asks, cautious, as if she speaks too loudly, he might break. "Shotaro, Phillip isn't…"

Oh.

"Ah, right. Right. I'm sorry," he says.

Akiko tells him that it's fine, he doesn't need to apologize, but he mentally reminds himself to not do that again, because Akiko is still shooting him concerned glances.

He has to protect Fuuto, he has to be a Kamen Rider by himself now, he says to himself, again, and again.

But it's hard to remember to not remember.

Shotaro thinks it might not be as bad right now if they hadn't been Double together. If Shotaro hadn't become so _comfortable _with having Phillip's mind inside his head. Maybe then he wouldn't be so aware of the absence right now.

* * *

He goes about things the only way he knows how, trying to work around the vacant, gaping hole that's been left behind.

He does his investigating on foot, out in the city, like he used to do with his teacher. He focuses on the cases, the clients, and little else. Shotaro vaguely remembers Makura making some sort of comment on his 'newfound seriousness'. Jinno goes so far as to ask him if anything's wrong, and Shotaro can't seem to come up with an excuse, so he stays silent, and the two police officers don't ask again.

And even if Shotaro's been finding it more and more difficult to keep track of things, he takes painstaking effort to take care of Mick. (He certainly has experience with cats anyways, even if he's never owned one before.)

He keeps track of cases at the desk, not the garage. The garage is still untouched, unchanged. The words 'Charming Raven', _grave_, still circled in red, still there. The few things, the few physical things that prove to the world that Phillip existed, that he was there, all this time.

There isn't a grave to visit, Sonozaki Raito never had a funeral, and neither did Phillip, but Shotaro likes to believe that the little things matter more. Surely a book, two words on a white board, a dry erase marker, a coffee cup, a drawer of clothes, a sofa bed that's never been folded out - these things should matter more than a headstone. Especially when Shotaro isn't sure which name would be engraved on it.

(He would want it to be just Phillip, but he wonders if his partner might want to hold onto his family still.)

* * *

"Shotaro." He's looking for a suspect for the current vandalism case, making his usual run through the area, and Akiko's following him again.

"Hm? What is it?" he asks, absentmindedly. Akiko's pace slows, and he matches her, puzzled. Soon they've come to a full stop. She's clasped her hands together, and the dreaded slipper is nowhere in sight – he hasn't seen it in a long time, actually.

Finally, Akiko shakes her head.

"Mm, never mind."

And Shotaro actually does consider just leaving it at that for a moment, but he can't let it go completely without asking, even if he knows that it probably won't amount to anything.

"What is it, all of a sudden?"

She doesn't appear to have an answer for him, even after he waits for several extra moments, just like he expected. In the end, he simply starts walking again, and Akiko follows.

They don't talk at all, for the rest of the time that Shotaro is searching. When they get back to the detective agency, Shotaro goes straight to his desk without another word.

At some point, he hears the door open and close, and then Akiko's gone.

* * *

"Hidari."

Shotaro blinks, Terui seeming to have come out of nowhere. He looks up at the other man from his desk of papers, the movement forcing him to acknowledge the overall stiffness that's taken hold of him, neck, hands, arms, back, everything, and it occurs to Shotaro that it's broad daylight now, even though he could have sworn it was still half past midnight just a moment ago, and he's quite sure that he didn't fall asleep.

Terui is still looking at him, and Shotaro gives a start, realizing that he's drifted off again.

"Ah," he fumbles. "Terui." Somehow he finds it tiring to draw in the additional air required to speak. "What is it? Is there a new case?"

Terui, arms folded across his chest – he's wearing black today – just continues to stare, face stern as usual, but there's something else there in his eyes that Shotaro can't seem to figure out.

"Hidari," he repeats, slowly. "This has to stop."

His mind really is mostly blank, because he can seem to form a response, or a question. He just stares straight ahead, trying to make his brain work.

"Chief is worried about you, she asked me to come over," Terui continues, shifting, glancing around at the files scattered across the floor, the four different used coffee mugs on the desk, and really, Shotaro hadn't noticed those either before, oddly enough.

"Akiko," Shotaro murmurs.

"She's been staying at my place. She said that it's hard for her to be around you right now," Terui says. "I can see why."

"Oh." That's all Shotaro can seem to come up with. He fingers the corner of a manila folder. He hears Terui let out a sigh, leaning forward, tugging the folder away from Shotaro.

"When was the last time you slept?" he asks. Shotaro pauses, thinking about it. When he fails to reply, Terui adds, "How about the last time you ate?"

That one Shotaro might be able to answer. He pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Uh, yesterday," he tries. "Maybe." He hesitates. "What time is it?"

Terui tosses the file aside, gripping him by the arm, pulling him to his feet.

"Time to snap out of it," Terui informs him. "And to stop running yourself into the ground." Shotaro makes a small noise of protest, but he can't shake Terui's hand off. The words 'I'm fine' are on the tip of his tongue, but he falters, unable to say something that has no meaning.

Instead, he feels his entire frame sag, and he lets Terui pull him away from his work.

* * *

It takes a little while, but Shotaro manages to find his new center. He can go to sleep without hearing the echoes of Phillip's ravings about some outlandish topic in the garage. He remembers to eat even though he never feels like eating anything.

Terui comes over whenever he can, and Akiko comes back and returns to living in the detective agency like before. Eventually, Akiko comes back to her louder, enthusiastic self, even if she still is significantly calmer than she used to be, and the green slipper returns to its former residency. It's the closest to normal Shotaro can manage.

So he doesn't mention to anyone that he still gets the feeling that Phillip is just right behind the garage door, whenever he's inside the detective agency. He still flips open the stag phone to call, he still waits an extra moment after he's about to transform into Joker, because he's still waiting to hear the familiar 'cyclone'.

He still feels like if he were to turn around, he'd find Phillip standing right behind him, smiling, saying 'yo, Shotaro' just as usual, just as usual.

When he does obey the impulse, when he does turn, he doesn't find his partner.

But he thinks to himself, _I just missed him._ _Maybe. Maybe he'll be there_ _next time._

And then, a year has passed.


	8. H is for Human

**AN:** I attempted to make this more uplifting than the last installment. I think I succeeded. I'm going to throw out I is for Ice soon too. I still have a feeling that I'm not really advertising these chapters very well though. XD

**Disclaimer:** Kamen Rider Double doesn't belong to me. I don't even own the DVDs, they're too expensive.

**Spoilers:** ...mmm, kind of hard to say. It's actually related to the B is for Blame addition that's tacked onto the bottom of D is for Detective, just a bit, but...it basically takes place before the series, after Begins Night, etc etc.

_**Human**_

It takes him a little while before he really notices it. Granted, he has never paid much attention to other people, for as long as he can remember. He read everything on Hidari Shotaro the moment he learned his name, at the same time that he was researching Narumi Sokichi. (Which easily accounted for the inspiration behind his new name.) There was little else that he thought he needed to know about his new associate.

Cooperation and understanding were the two components of a functional working relationship, and since they already had both of those between them, Phillip deemed any further analysis to be unnecessary and for all intents and purposes a waste of time. (They are on first name basis with each other – something that holds a distinct significance in Japanese culture – but that's really only because Phillip doesn't have a last name, and a third of Phillip's thought processes are in English anyways, so he thinks nothing of it.)

This assumption is challenged, of course, when Phillip sees that Shotaro is developing certain anxieties relating to the Gaia memories, and the Double Driver belt. In spite of the success of their first transformation together, under severe duress even, Shotaro's hand has a slight tremor when he slots his Joker memory in, and slams Phillip's Cyclone memory down. Phillip can feel the residual fear, worry, coming off of the less experienced detective as he snaps the belt open, feels the tension in his body as Phillip's mind slides into place beside Shotaro's as the armor solidifies.

Phillip doesn't understand it, he can't see a viable reason for Shotaro's irrational tendency towards panic whenever they transform. If one were to follow the usual line of logic, the fear would be more likely to stem from the physical pain and injuries associated with battling against violent addicts enhanced by impure Gaia Memories. If anything, Shotaro feels more at ease focusing on fighting than when Phillip's mind draws close to his.

When Shotaro actually loses a Dopant because of this issue, Phillip is forced to readapt to the situation.

He withdraws a little more while they are Double, pulling his thoughts closer to himself, purposefully making his presence less prominent, less outspread and 'contaminating', as Shotaro seems to think of it as. Never mind that Shotaro's thoughts and emotions bleed out everywhere, and really, Shotaro's influence is much more invasive to Phillip than Phillip's is to Shotaro. But the hypocrisy of it doesn't bother Phillip.

The circumstances, and Shotaro's odd reactions to said circumstances are as they are, and Phillip adapts to them accordingly. It does help things, and their success rate as Double improves, although Shotaro doesn't seem to be aware of Phillip's more inhibited existence in his head while they're transformed. Phillip doesn't care much.

With this incident now filed away into his mind, Phillip decides that Shotaro requires more attention than he initially thought. And so, with this new evaluation, Phillip takes note of the next significant issue more quickly than the first one.

It begins with the slowed reaction time, more wincing and less fluidity as Double than before. Soreness cripples normally fast reflexes. They take more hits because of this, in fact, which decidedly does not improve the efficiency of their investigations. Phillip is a little more perplexed about this problem than the first one, wondering how Shotaro's physical condition could have deteriorated at such an inexplicable rate.

Of course, this is when Phillip decides to spend a little bit less time researching the odd weather patterns of Fuuto and whatnot, and more time observing Shotaro while they're both in the detective agency. He sees the poorly concealed stiffness, hears the hisses that escape through Shotaro's teeth whenever he moves in a way that uses a few too many bruised, pulled, or slightly torn muscles.

(He hasn't been sleeping well either, although he hasn't slept the usual standard amount since Phillip first met him, and Phillip isn't sure if this is either Shotaro's unique sleeping patterns, or if this is yet another problem that his new partner has developed since the passing of his mentor and most likely surrogate father figure.)

Phillip has to pause and think about this conundrum for a couple of minutes, arm still poised at the white board, marker in hand, book open, (he still doesn't see why Shotaro has insisted on him using them, but he isn't complaining). He doesn't move or blink for the duration of his brainstorm, before he lets out a sigh and decides to sacrifice efficiency for an improvement in long term efficiency.

The next time they are facing a Dopant, Phillip employs a different set of strategies as he advises Shotaro. He calls for the Metal memory more often, the defensive quality of the armor is significantly better – Trigger less so although the extended range and added distance are welcome assets when the circumstances suit them. LunaMetal is in fact one of the safer modes, although Shotaro is still getting more comfortable with the other memories, Joker seems to be the easiest for him to adapt to.

It calls for a bit more shuffling than Phillip would like, and they do lose track of the less confrontational and more cowardly Dopants from time to time, but this way, Shotaro actually is in good enough condition to follow up on the next lead and deal with the Dopant _again_.

And in spite of his usual obliviousness to the subtler differences, Shotaro does seem to realize that he comes out of scuffles with fewer scrapes and requires fewer heating packs for soreness and fewer ice packs for bruises, because Phillip realizes that Shotaro has been throwing more offhanded 'thank you's and 'nice work's his way lately. And oddly enough, Phillip feels noticeably better about it all.

And yet, the matter of Shotaro's (decidedly not natural) sleeping habits persists.

Phillip finds the solution quite by accident. It happens during – well, not quite during, more like after – one of his bouts with the mysteries of ecology and it's connections to cosmic evolution, the formation of the structures of interstellar matter in space. He spends – Hidari tells him – almost 36 hours in the garage, and when he comes to his senses, Shotaro is sleeping on the couch that is supposed to be Phillip's bed, one that he never really sleeps on anyways, and it takes Phillip a couple of additional moments to realize that he's stumbled across a potential answer without even realizing.

This is of course not to say that Phillip goes out of his way, it truly does seem to fall in line with the saying – to "kill two birds with one stone", because Phillip really _can't_ seem to stop researching once he's started, but he appreciates that it is able to serve another purpose, in addition to satisfying his own insatiable curiosity. Sleep deprivation is not conducive towards a properly functioning mind, and although Phillip both lacks and does not require the equilibrium, Shotaro is apparently more delicate in such respects.

Then there are the phone calls.

Phillip has never been privy to the identity of this mysterious caller. He has reason to believe that it might be the ex-wife of Narumi Sokichi, considering that several dates that the phone calls took place on were ones significant to their marriage, Narumi Sokichi, and his wife herself, but several phone calls are scattered in between these, making it difficult to be sure of anything, especially when Shotaro goes completely silent for extended periods of time after each call.

His focus never really returns, for the rest of the day at least. There is a visible lapse in concentration on his part, and he tends to miss things that he normally would notice. He spends more time sitting at his desk, eyes transfixed on a point in space that doesn't seem to exist, hands clasped, thoughts most likely revolving around the night where everything that they are today began.

It's not particularly beneficial, for anything, as a matter of fact, so Phillip goes with his impulse to disconnect the phone on Shotaro's birthday, before going back into the garage. It isn't a 'be all end all' solution, but Phillip has learned that the little things seem to matter.

His partner is quite human, after all.


	9. I is for Ice

**AN:** It's really short, unfortunately. But I'm hoping to get through 'J', and go on a posting spree before I leave for my month long language immersion summer camp. (which will entail absolutely no internet or any such electronic freedoms.) First time writing from Ryu's perspective. I'm not really sure about it, to be honest. What do you guys think?

**Disclaimer:** Kamen Rider Double doesn't belong to me. I don't even own the DVDs, they're too expensive.

**Spoilers:** Ryu's background is explored here, so if you don't know who that is yet...

**_Ice_**

It's the littlest of things really, things that he had never even noticed before, things that don't mean anything to anyone but him now. It might be because there is no one to distract him, no one around to fill the silences with laughter and smiles, a tug on the sleeve, a hug wrapped around him.

The quiet seems to amplify every single trivial moment, making everything heavier, making every second longer, and he knows that it's not logical, but he can't argue with the constricting sensation that settles around his ribs, or the way the sounds of the ticking clock seem to stretch painfully in his ears. It's not enough to suffocate, but sometimes-.

Alone in his apartment, lying flat on his back in bed, his throat dry and scratchy – he might be coming down with something, but he really couldn't care less, he'll be going to work tomorrow regardless because if he isn't working then he honestly doesn't know what else to do with himself – he clears his throat a couple of times, carefully, trying to swallow.

It doesn't exactly hurt, not really, but he can't seem to get the irritation to go away, so he gets up and heads over to his apartment's kitchen area. He goes to his cabinet, takes out a glass, opens his freezer, takes out the ice cube tray, and drops three cubes into the glass. Then he walks over to the sink, and fills it with tap water.

The ice cubes rattle together, the water sloshes, seeping into the crevasses. The water is warm, the ice isn't.

_snap. snap. snap._

He stops, locked in place, staring, eyes riveted, the sound filling his head with ridiculous clarity, the sound of creaking ice, straining, about to crack, before it does, fracture lines streaking through the cubes, a splintering sound that is engraved in his mind, his heart, and his memory. He might have mentally berated himself for being so stupid, but he honestly can't even think now.

His hand goes numb, fingers slackening, and the cup slips out of his now loosened grip, tumbling to the floor, water spilling, splattering onto the floor tiles, and the glass shatters. It seems to collapse, breaking again and again and again and-

He still hasn't moved. He stares down at the broken glass, the small fractured pieces, all scattered, everywhere, the _ice._

His eyes are dry, he's sealed those away, he tells himself. He doesn't have the time, the luxury, to let himself wallow in his own weakness, his own failure. It's just thermal stress, he says to himself. It's a simple matter of the ice expanding and contracting, because of the temperature disparity. It's just a broken cup. It shouldn't bother him, it doesn't mean a thing.

So he doesn't cry, he doesn't do anything at all, other than walk over to get out his dust pan, sweep up the mess, and throw it into the trash. He doesn't do anything about the cuts on his feet. He doesn't bother to get another cup. He just walks away, and lies back down on his bed. He stares up at his ceiling, and tries not to think about the necklace around his neck.

He doesn't put ice in his drinks anymore. He always drinks them lukewarm.

And he carries on.


End file.
